Earthworms’
Castings
By Jean Ponzi
Joy So Very Much!
I’ve been in a really dippy position. Literally.
Way up, way down.
Circumstances in my life have been extremely challenging
since the beginning of September. The prospect for ultimate
outcome is fabulously, hopefully, encouragingly good. But
the process to get there is really sssssslllllllloooooooowwwwww.
While moving through this process, my family is being supported,
in practical and emotional ways, with the most generous,
thoughtful, resourceful, completely all-encompassing love
that is humanly possible to give and receive. We are in
the hands of angels, in every way, every day.
I’m experiencing life’s very best. Granted,
the context is a rather hard time, yet the situation overall
is fraught with blessings.
In the early, most perilous days of this saga, I was Ms.
Positive Thought. I’m proud to say I never once wavered
from a clear intention for wholeness, wellbeing, and balance
restored. Marshaled in my own mind and called forth from
others, this positive-focus investment has really paid off.
However, as the long, slow journey of return to normal
life proceeds, I find myself often feeling low, sad and
dreary, even in the midst of the most amazing help a person
could have. And this juxtaposition has me feeling even worse.
How can I be so ungrateful as to stay in a funk when all
the healing change I hope for is happening, big-time?
Struggling with myself this way, while driving to do my
radio show the week of Thanksgiving, I noticed a message
posted on the marquee of the Missouri School for the Blind.
This visionary sign said:
JOY IS THE SIMPLEST FORM OF GRATITUDE.
Joy. Enjoyment. A joyful noise. Joy to the world. Joyeaux
Noël. O come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant.
Tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Heading into the holiday season, I have been dreading celebrations
I usually love. Could I crank up my spirits to participate
in familiar enjoyments while the circumstances of my life
remain much changed, so constrained and slow? But how could
I even consider feeling anything less than joy, when I have
so much to be thankful for in life-affirming outcomes of
a grave situation?
When happenings were truly dire, I truly felt thankful,
all the time, and this perspective carried me safely through
a minefield of an era. What kind of creepy, ingrown, ungrateful
wretch am I these days? Just because I’m still coping
with the aftermath of a crisis, how can I let my face stay
so long?
I should be feeling grateful – and joyful –
that things are developing so wonderfully well. Even if
things are moving really slow.
Positive thinking was a choice I made when all this started,
when the chips of life were really down. Maybe it’s
time to choose again. I’d like to feel thankful again
for goodness flowing all around me.
Okey dokey, I choose joy.
I look at myself in the rear-view mirror, driving on past
the School for the Blind, on the way to host a radio conversation*
with Frances Moore Lappé about her new book “Getting
A Grip: Clarity, Courage and Creativity In a World Gone
Mad.” Time for me to get a grip. Time for me to choose
a viewpoint.
Like positive thinking, this is a practice. It takes work,
which I know will pay off. And since I’ve put this
choice out into the public eye now, if you see me wearing
a happy face, you’ll know I’m practicing the
ole’ attitude of gratitude.
Taking a view that’s bigger than me (for a change),
I know Earth can certainly use this choice of perspective,
and the healing my personal experience tells me it will
surely bring. Even if this healing is sssssllllloooooowww.
Thankfully, slow change gives you plenty of time to enjoy…
Jean Ponzi’s talk show “Earthworms” takes
a positive look at something Green Tuesdays 7-8 p.m. on
88.1 KDHX St. Louis Community Radio. Or hear archived and
podcast editions* at www.kdhx.org.
Check out Frankie Lappe!
